Your betrayal Fic. (By Bullet For My Valentine)

The rain pours down all around me, I cannot think I cannot feel. Well, not physically anyway. On the inside I am on the verge of tears. My legs are burning as I urge myself to keep them running, moving. It is then that the words appear in my mind.

Am I going Insane? (insane)
My blood is boiling inside my veins
An evil feeling it ticks (it ticks)
My body is aching there is no turning back

Matt Tuck, the singer of such words must have been going through total hell to voice such feelings, such words. I know because now I can relate to them. Even now as I am weaving my way through the dark trees, fleeing, I am jsut realizing the meaning behind these volatile words.

So take your eyes off the trigger,
I'm not to blame if the world turns to black,
As your eyes start to blister,
There's just no hope for our final embrace,
So here we are, I'm in your head,
I'm in your heart!

They did this to me. Death is not the answer, that is what they want for me. I am an unwind, nothing more to them. How dare they make such a decision. To have me ripped apart, harvested, like I'm some kind of animal. I fight back tears as I keep pushing myself harder, farther, Faster. If I keep moving they wont catch me, they can't kill me. There's no time to say goodbye to you, my love. There's nothing left but to run.

You were told to run away,
Soak the place and light the flame,
Pay the price for your betrayal,
Your betrayal, your betrayal.

He only knew the half of it when he wrote that song. He knew nothing of the hurt, nothing of the song. It would only be hours before they realized that I wasn't in the fire. It would only be a few after that before they realized my involvement in the whole thing. They deserved this they had it coming. I will face the charges of murder and they nothing for what they did to me.

I was told to stay away,
Those two words I can't obey,
Pay the price for your betrayal,
Your betrayal, your betrayal.

I slowly creep closer and closer to your home. I know they must be waiting here for me, but I am ready. I need to see you. You are my life, there is nothing without you. I love you.

Is it my turn to die?
My heart is pounding as I say goodbye
So now I dance in the flames
I love you crying and screaming my name.

Its funny because you were the one I could trust, I went to you , I loved you. But only for this hurt, for these feelings. You turned me in, after everything we have been through. I loved you.


You said we'd be forever
How could you kill me and lie to my face
Now that we can't be together
There's just no hope for a final embrace.

The End and a New Beginning

Hello all of you out there in cyberspace,^^

First off I would Like to say Congratulations to all of you who have graduated this year. Whether it be from high school, middle school, elementary school, college or any other graduation I may have left out Congratulations to you all. This acheivement deserves SO many congratulations, Far more than I could ever give just myself.

Many people say that the end of highschool is the end for them, the end of freedom, the end of their lives as it is now. Well, it's much more than an end, it's a whole new beginning. You get to go out into the world and do with it as you may. Whether that means going into the Army like my friend Blackened Denarius, or going off to college like Ryban Dalir.

But no matter what, you still have this, your home. Where your friends and family are, where you grew up, where you went to school those twelve years before college; that is your home and that is what you will always have. People may change, and friendships may be lost. But in the end, through it all the rise and fall, you have us. You will never, EVER be lost to us.

You are born into a family by blood and pulled into another by love. We, are the ones you choose, the ones that reamain in your life forever, along with your true family.

To all of you sitting there reading this,
congratulations.

~Shadow

1984

This quarter our honor's english class is reading the book 1984 in class.
So far I have just barely started reading the book... I don't know if any of you know what I mean... But I ABSOLUTELY love the feel of a new book.

So far the main character has been shown to live in a highly invasive community run by the government. In this true story there are four "Ministries" or areas in which people basically screen and judge other people. These Ministries each have different roles...

Ministry of Truth:
The main character Winston Smith works here. It is an enormous pyramid shaped structure made of stone. It reaches over 300 meters into the air containing over 3,000 above ground rooms. On the front of the building were etched three slogans:
1) WAR IS PEACE
2) FREEDOM IS SLAVERY
3) IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH.

The purpose of this building was to rewrite information to make it as the government wishes it to be seen. It takes information from the news media, fine arts, entertainment, and educational arts. They alter the facts to match the party doctrine to send out effective propaganda.

For example, If "Big Brother" were to make a false prediction the Ministry of Truth would intervene and rewrite all forms of media to make it seem as if he predicted correctly, altering the original prediction.

The second Ministry was the MINISTRY OF LOVE

This ministry focuses on brainwashing people into being loyal towards "Big Brother." They basically put loads of fear into people and expect them to uphold their loyalties.

This building is an extremely tall dark building with no windows. Infact the general aura of the place seems the exact opposite of love. It is cold, and dark, and dreary, and also in itself intimidating. If only to mirror the effect of fear it puts on people it is surrounded by barbed wire entanglements.

This Ministry above all others is largely responsible for the pain and suffering of those in Oceania.

The Third ministry is the Ministry of Peace.

Its kind of ironic (just as the name choices for the other three ministries) but this Ministry governs over the military.

This ministry revolves around a sort of perpetual war. If the citizens have a well defined army they will never be conquered. The constant propaganda only urges the people to uphold the laws and try to be on the side of the government so they will not be made an example of treason.

The fourth and final ministry is the Ministry of Plenty:

This ministry focuses on the economy alone. It's job is to oversee the public access to food, supplies, and goods. It is also largely in charge of the money and rationing the goods.


Well... That's it for now...
Catch ya later...
~Shadow

Dear Diary April 4th 2010

Fine arts month at my school has kicked off to a great start.^^ Yesterday My School's Drumline performed amazingly. They used neon tape and covered trash cans and their drumsticks with the neon colors. The lights were then turned off and they played phenomenally with black lights on, the entire time glowing fantastically. They were AMAZING. I have never been so proud to be a part of my school... so far.

Frail Destiny: Chapter One

A ray of light slipped through the cracks in the weak wall of my bedroom and just happened to fall across my eyes. It iritated me, the way it just stayed there, in my eyes. It burned. I rolled over onto my other side but something just didn't feel right.

My entire room was in disarray. I didn't even think that was possible. My room wasn't all that great to begin with. But this, this is just plain rediculous. My straw mat looked as if bits had been ripped out of it. Blood painted the dirt floor. That same blood dirtied my nightgown.

It was then that I heard a blood curling scream.

I slid my feet off of the side of my bed and pulled on my nearest gown. This gown happened to be magnificent. It was meant for my sister's wedding in a few days but still... it was the closest thing I could find. I slid on my boots and cautiously crept towards my door.

My mother and father were nowhere to be seen or heard. There was the scream again. It sounded farther away. I slowly and silently crept towards the door on my way picking up my sais. I then reached the front door.

I opened it just a crack.

You would never believe the things, the creatures I saw. Dead women and children and even the men littered the streets. Blood dripped from their necks like the snow melting from a tree branches. It was winter. The nights were the only time they struck.

It was then that a giant beast resembling the biggest wolf I'd ever seen lunged towards me. I withdrew my sais as it bit deep into my neck and pulled hard. I screamed in panic and stabbed it with my left Sai. It seemed to do no damage.

The wolf writhed and slashed at my hands. His black fur was coated in my blood. There was sooo much blood. The pain seemed to be getting even worse. He glared a smug glare directly into my eyes, a glare telling me I was losing. Telling me I was slipping into eternal slumber.

It was then that he was yanked off of me by an unseen creature.

As much as I wanted to see my hero, the reason for the breath still remaining in my lungs, I could not force myself to stay awake. My entire body went numb and everything within my view went black.

Getting to Know You

Ellow all you out there in Cyberspace^^
Well, I was trying to find a way for you guys, the readers of this new blog to get to know me a little bit better. So naturally googled "Questions to ask someone to know them better" and I got about a hundred. So I as the writer of this blog will from time to time add the question and then give you my answer. Then, in that post I would like you to leave a comment giving me your answer if you would.^^ This way we can keep the discussions going. Each one of these posts will be listed under the segment title: " Getting to Know You". If you have any questions please leave a comment or E-mail me at GothickHaven@yahoo.com.
~Shadow

Heya^^

Hey all you people out there in cyberspace,
It's me Shadow :D. I don't know what writing means to you, or if it even means something to you. There are so many different things that it could mean. Each definition is unique to each person. It could be nothing but a mere means for communication or it could be their whole world. I personally end up on the more extreme portion of that scale. I wanted this blog to be a glimpse into my world; into my thoughts. Hopefully it wont blow up in my face. Haha. Well, I hope you all enjoy this.^^
~Shadow
The absolute, queen of the misfits.